I’ve Already Said Too Much…

I've Said Too Much FINAL

I’ve Said Too Much

When I make a record, I am almost always trying to tell some sort of story.  Each song is doing so – and I would hope any songwriter is trying to communicate with the listener in some way – but I try to collect songs that tell a greater story of some sort.  I can’t say I do it perfectly.  In fact – I will say I do NOT do it perfectly.  But that is my desire with each record.

This one, “I’ve Said Too Much”, is attempting to tell the story of the human condition.  Whether one agrees with my worldview or not, we can all agree that each living person thinks and feels, breathes, consumes and produces, has a mix of joys and sorrows, etc.  Every human being in some way desires and seeks love, identity, value – to know THEY are valued.  Whether that be narcissistic or not, depends on how much value they put in being valued?  That last part was me attempting to sound smart.  Doesn’t work, so let’s move on…

I do believe the human condition really isn’t THAT different from person to person.  In this story, I’m talking to things such as depression, self-esteem, self-centeredness, pain, failure, loss, redemption.  One in particular, is depression, whether clinical, chronic, or a season in one’s life.  We have all  been there, to some varying degree.

Why bring this up, or talk to it?  I don’t bring it up, pretending to be any sort of expert (I’m not), or assume I have all the answers (I don’t), or even presume I know what you are going through (I simply can’t.  I can empathise – but I cannot pretend to be where you are emotionally, spiritually, physically, mentally, at this moment).  I bring it up, with hopes to encourage you – as I try to do with almost anything I write – that you are not alone, and YOU MATTER.

Yeah – you.

No, I’m not talking about him.  Or her.  Well – I mean, I AM talking to them as well.  But really – I am talking to you.  You know what I mean…  Another attempt at smart-soundedness.  Sorry…  😉

I’ll go through the record, song by song, as I have in the past.  For now, please enjoy my latest offering, and we’ll see you very soon!

Love, T.

I’ve Said Too Much


Thoughts and Prayers…

Don’t stop thinking. Direct your thoughts toward, “How can I help?” If even the loved one, co-worker, neighbor, who is scared or hurting or fed up. Can I listen? Can I bring comfort? Can I sit with you?

That won’t stop the next killer. But it might make the ones around us know they matter. Just a little?

Don’t stop praying. In fact – START praying! I’m willing to bet many who offer “thoughts and prayers”, did just that. Three whole words, typed out, or copied and pasted. That’s it…

Maybe we should pray. For real. For bondage to be broken for so many who are held captive to fear, hatred, shame, discord, pain, loss – all the things this world and the devil have to offer. All the things Jesus came to set us free from.

Start praying. You don’t have to tell me. Just pray for me? And I can for you?

And if you see no value in praying, ok. I understand, really I do. I can’t expect you to understand. But I pray for you, even more. Cause I love you, and thought of you held captive by all the world and the devil have to offer, breaks my heart…

So tell me – how can I help? Thoughts and prayers don’t help end the slaughter. Our government won’t help. Facebook fights don’t help – and I bet you agree, they do more harm than good, at least in our raw, emotional state. So tell me – what can I do for you? Right now? I probably don’t have anything real and tangible to offer the families of the victims (short of money – I can do that). But what do YOU need? Right now?

2017 – My Year In Music

Wow!  I put out a lot of stuff this year.  Here is a bit of a rundown of things I did in 2017.

2017-03-The Great Thought Thinker Joe Pyeweed
The Great Thought Thinker (Joe Pyeweed)
.  I was blessed to get to work with the ultra-talented Joe Pyeweed again, on the Great Thought Thinker.  You are blessed to be able to hear it right here.

Old Dogs
.  I spent some time re-working and re-recording old songs from my old band, The Moondogs.  I did about 8 or 9 songs, and whittled that down to an EP.  You can listen to it here.

A couple cool things about this one:  First, I did a cover of Kiss’ “Tears Are Falling”.  That’s pretty cool in itself.  But two, I put this out on cassette.  And three – I put this out on 8-track!  Yes, 8-track, and yes, you do want one.  You can get yours here if you want to spend your Xmas scratch.  The 8-track actually has a few extra songs (the ones that did not make the EP, but were still fun), and some special things to even out each of the four sections.

2017-16-i must become less REMASTERED
i must become less (REMASTERED).  
So I made this record in 2015, with a lot of help from dear friends.  I was super proud of it.  It was one of the first ones I did using Cakewalks’ Sonar again (I was a longtime Cakewalk user, switched to a digital console device – but went back because of ease and flexibility that Sonar gave me).  It was also the first one where I submitted my songs to people to help “edit”, or really co-write.  Really, my dear friends Nathan and Joan Boyer did the, “This doesn’t flow, that’s not proper english” with my songs.  It was super helpful, and a lot of fun!

But after a couple years, I wished the mix was better.  But I was too lazy to go and fix.  So I called my dear friend Tony Preston, and he was gracious enough to make my “ok” mix sound amazing!  Give it a listen here!

And as an added bonus – here is a special remix of the song “Show Me Your Glory“…

This song was written from the perspective of one of the 3,000 nameless children who are aborted every single day.  I wasn’t interested in politicizing this issue of abortion.  But it really is either an issue of the rights of the mother, if that child is not a human being, or the rights of the child in her, if we are talking about a human being.  Science tells us we are dealing with a human being.  We all know this.  Why do we deny it?  So I wrote the song, to try and further that conversation.  You can listen here.  And every stream of it, I donate to to an organization called New Life Family Services, specifically to a program called “Conquerors”. This program is designed to minister to women who are hurting, due to a past abortion. You can read about them here:


2017-25-The Only Childs
The Only Childs.
  Man, this was fun!  I got together with my dear friends Tony Preston and Alex Sutherland to try and write some songs.  Tony was a longtime bandmate – he was in The Moondogs with me for years.  He and I started a band called OnceBlind.  Alex joined OnceBlind when Tony left, and he and I ended that band.  So I thought, why not us three try and do a special “OnceBlind” project.  We changed courses a couple times, and ended up with this nice little EP.  We used Tom Carlon and Steven J. Parenteau, who were the bassist and drummer in The Moondogs, as our rhythm section.  And Tom’s daughter Anna lended her amazing voice to one of the songs.  It was really cool and fun!  We’re hoping to do a show or two in 2018, to have a little fun playing these songs.  You can listen to it here for now.

Future-2-If I Could Leave This Place
If I Could Leave This Place.
  This record, was a culmination of songwriting throughout 2017.  It started with a request from my nephew, who was in the Marines at the time.  “Can you write me a song?  Make it a Country song.”  I did not make it a country song, but I did in fact write him a song.

Then I started writing songs for other loved ones.  I put together a dozen or so, and put this record together.  It’s probably my favorite record, mainly because it’s so personal.  I hope you enjoy it as well!  Give it a listen.

Some notables:

  • I hired out musicians from Nashville for one song.  Actually I ended up using them on two versions of the song.  Pretty cool!
  • I did a Beatle cover, which is scary.  But it turned out alright.
  • I did a cover of one of my dear friend’s songs.  Jeromy Darling is a gifted songwriter.  When I couldn’t pull out a true worship song (they all sounded cheesy, like the stuff you hear on the radio), I asked if I could use one he had already written.  He’s a lovely human being, and of course said yes.  My friend Anna (Tom’s daughter) sang with me on it, which sounds amazingly, hauntingly beautiful.
  • I hired out pedal steel and dobro from a guy in England, named Toby Wilson.  Super talented!  If you need any work, he’s your man.

Whew!  And if that wasn’t enough, I recorded some backing tracks for a few friends on their songs, and I put out a couple singles to end the year, “You Are Beautiful” and “You Will Find Him On A Mercy Seat“.  Both will be on my upcoming release – yes, I have a new release in the works…  I just can’t stop…  Which brings me to 2018 plans:

  • I’m still working on my double-double album.  Two double-albums, each will be somewhere between 15 and 30 songs long.  A concept album, based on the Bible.  Think of it as a non-theologian writing and arranging songs around the books of the Bible.  One will be all old testament, and one all new.  I started this in the spring of 2016, and I still have a long way to go.  But it’s chugging along!  Hopefully done by end of 2018, God-willing.
  • This new record of mine, should be out by spring.  I just need a couple more parts added, then mix it.  I kinda dig it.  It’s a lot more “simple” in nature than my last.  It’s also a bit more dark.
  • I have a few songs slated for another EP, that will probably rear it’s head in 2018.  Hoping to do these songs with some dear friends.
  • I plan to do a few shows throughout the year.  Time-permitting, more than I have in the past couple years.
  • Maybe start working on a new Only Childs record?  We’ll see.
  • I am working with Alex Sutherland on his solo debut.  It’s going to be primarily a country record.  I’m super stoked for this one!
  • Lastly, I’m hoping to try and get some work as a producer, helping people make the best record, song, demo, whatever, they can.  We’ll see how this goes.  If you are someone who could use some help, hit me up!

Suffice it to say, 2018 should be musically pretty similar to 2017 for me.

Here’s to a wonderful 2018 for you, and may God bless you abundantly!


The Mercy Seat…

Christmas is upon us!  A time where we celebrate time spent with loved ones.  A time where we buy more than we can afford, for those we want to bless, or impress, or compete with, or  – maybe for ourselves?  A time where we sing songs and watch movies, all about Jesus, or Santa, or Rudolph, or something mixed.

A time where we reflect on the birth of the King of kings and Lord of lords.  A time where we remember that God came to be with us in flesh – and anticipate His ultimate return.

Think about this – we not only consider our own need for a Savior; we celebrate the fact that our Savior came!  And He came for us!  For you.  And for me.  If you or I were the only person He had to come and save – He would have come anyway.

This does not make you or I more important than anyone else – or for that matter, important at all.  But to Jesus – we are of utmost importance.  So much so, God came to us, as a baby, born of a virgin woman.  Born of woman, so as to be fully human, but not born of man, so as to be perfectly sinless.  Fully God, fully man.  Things I don’t fully comprehend.  I’m not so sure it’s important we “understand” everything.  I mean – do you fully understand in a clinical way how you love your child, or your spouse, or your parents?  Or how you are loved?  you don’t even try.  So don’t try with Jesus – just be loved…

This song is not a Christmas song.  But in many ways – it is.  It was borne out of a desire to remind us – or myself – that we are not in any way “earning our way into or out of heaven”.  Yes, as a child of God, I forget this truth, so often.  My catholic upbringing maybe?  🙂  I don’t know – but His mercy is not conditional, nor limited.  Nor for that matter, something in some distant future…

This song was also borne out of a desire to remind us that this mercy is NOT just for us.  it’s for anyone and everyone who believes.  Think about that.  The person you most dislike, or even loathe – they are not beyond His reach.  They are not too far gone for His mercy…

It’s a song for those who want some big “revelation”, or “epiphany”, in order to finally accept that Jesus is real, and is after their heart.  Just – STOP.  Just GIVE UP.  And lay that burden down.  It’s too heavy for you, you know this.  You don’t need some big flashy show to convince you of what you already know.  So let that go.  This song is for you…

You will not find Jesus where you want Him to be, in that perfect place or situation that you can control.  He finds you.  And His mercy is new…

Every day, His mercy is new…

This song is a free gift.  You can get it on Spotify or Apple – wherever you like to stream music – or you can download it from my Bandcamp page.  May your Christmas be merry, may your heart be filled, you find Christ on the mercy seat…

You Will Find Him On A Mercy Seat
You won’t find Him in your anger
Righteous as you think it is
Your hatred for brother or sistter
Just pushes the blade deeper in…

You won’t see Him in your behavior
No matter how hard you try
You are not locked out by your failure
Tell me, who sol you that lie?

You will find Him on a mercy seat
You will find Him in shalom
You will see His arms are wide open
As He welcomes you home…

You can’t hide Him from your secrets
Darkness cannot keep Him out
Shame does not lead you to freedom
Or help you lay burdens down

You won’t find Him in the hurricane
Or in fire or flood
Child, you’ll find Him in the whisper
That speaks of His eternal love…

You will find Him on a mercy seat
You will find Him in shalom
You will see His arms are wide open
As He welcomes you home…

My ears have heard of You
But now my eyes see only You…

You will find Him on a mercy seat
You will find Him in shalom
You will see His arms are wide open
As He welcomes you home

You Are Beautiful

You Are Beautiful

You Are Beautiful

I wrote this song after my last visit to San Francisco.  During that visit, I was reminded how easy it is to marginalize people.  We hear about this every day in the news and on social media.  But we don’t really talk about some of the most marginalized – those “dirty, scary people on that block you probably don’t want to walk down”….

My wife and I stayed on “that block” while in San Francisco, and we met some really sweet people.  We also ran into some people who are – probably insane.  The level of what seems to be insanity among the population we were among is more than I’d seen anywhere else (granted, I haven’t been everywhere – maybe this is more common?…).  We were really overwhelmed by this darkness.  I mean how do you reach someone who is incapable of being reached?  God have mercy…

We did run into a few people though who were wonderful and gracious enough to have chats with us.  Some were so pleased we would spend time with them, or even ask their name.  Some just wanted money for a fix.  Some were sleeping all day – maybe because it’s safer to sleep during the day?  I mean, that’s what I would do, if I lived on the streets – so we just left food at their feet.

Each story is heartbreaking, yet sweet.  These are PEOPLE!  With stories, and life, and dreams.  And value.  Never let someone tell you we as humans are insignificant.  As if it’s arrogant to put a value on a human (yes I heard this too, while staying in SF, at the conference I was at.  A very very intelligent man was spouting this lie to an audience who eat it up like steak…).  We as people ARE valued and valuable, to the One who created us.  This is not arrogant, because it speaks to HIS glory, not ours.

I wrote this song, after the visit.  For Anna, who lit up with the most beautiful smile, when we asked her what her name was.  For Doris, who could not see past her need for the next fix, even at the expense of the babies in her womb…  For Karen, who was actually the first person I approached, ten years ago.  I wonder what she’s up to today…

For Heather, who just needed a few more bucks to make rent, so she would not be thrown out on the street again.  For the Vietnam vet, who felt like he had no more use.  For the men piled on each other for warmth, as they slept in a forgotten alley…

I’m giving the song away.  But if anyone streams or downloads it, I’ll donate to a local Minneapolis organization called In Love Word and Deed.  They go out weekly and bring meals to people in Minneapolis.  They pray over and with, share love and good news with, get to know, cry over and with, these wonderful people.  They are wonderful people.  If you see fit, please consider helping them out.

And if you would, prayerfully consider, how your smile, your “hello”, your handshake or hug, might just show someone they matter.  Because they do.  And so do you…

You Are Beautiful

You are beautiful
You’re made perfectly
You are beautiful
You’re made in the image of Me

Dear Anna, such a beautiful smile
Such a beautiful name
And I call you mine
I’ve called you by name into My grace
My mercy is yours for the taking

Dear child, don’t you know yet?
Dear one, haven’t you heard

That you are beautiful
You’re made perfectly
You are beautiful
You’re made in the image of Me

Dear Doris, you don’t need that hit…
You don’t need that shame…
Cause you are My gift
I give you Myself
And that’s enough
If only you’d know this…

Dear child with a child of your own
Dear one, don’t let go…

Cause you are beautiful
You’re made perfectly
You are beautiful
You’re made in the image of Me

Dear Karen
Pure in heart
You think no one sees you…
But I do…
your name’s not forgotten
It’s on my book of life
And today you will hear me in paradise, say

You are beautiful
You’re made perfectly
You are beautiful
You’re made in the image of Me

You Are Beautiful


Your Favor Rests Upon Me…

Future-2-If I Could Leave This Place

Your Favor

I finished my record.  I was done.  We headed to Seattle, for our daughter’s wedding.  She married the love of her life.  It was wonderful!

Do I use the word “wonderful” too much?

While there, my wife, who was doing the flowers for the wedding, had to pick up all the flowers, greens, etc. for the wedding.  While checking in to our Air BnB, she thought, “Maybe we can see if we can find some more greens to go with the flowers.”  I didn’t know the green parts weren’t part of the flowers.  Greens and flowers are – not…  the same thing…

Anyway, there were wooded walking paths all around our neighborhood.  So – maybe?

So while putting things away, we could hear a chainsaw, or some sort of gas-powered tool.  We head out on our walk – and along the walk path are greens – CUT DOWN.  EVERYWHERE.  God literally placed all the greens we could need, at our feet!

I mean – ALL OF THEM.  P picked up more than she needed, and left a ton more than that on the trail!  Here is one pic, so you can see what I’m talking about.

And that is just part of what my wife pulled together, from what was left for us.

God is so good…  I don’t typically think of things like this, or get caught up in the fascination of things like this.  But God – just TOOK CARE OF IT for us.  Wow…

Your favor, Lord, rests upon us…

So we’re heading to the store, to pick up flowers.  And we have to potentially cancel the order for greens, because we have enough now.  As we start to feel a little guilty, my wife gets a voicemail – no phone ring, just a voicemail.  It happens, we’ve all had it happen.

“Um – Mrs. Haj-nas-eee-wic – Haj-nas-erts – um, we got your roses, but – so sorry…  We couldn’t get any of the greens.  So sorry….”


God takes care of us.  Lord, your favor rests upon us…

I did not intend to write a song for Stella and Cody.  I mean – I DID.  But when my original idea went somewhere else, I did not consider writing another song.  I thought I was done.  I did not intend to write a worship song – when I couldn’t come up with anything, I thought I was done.

Then this…

I wrote most of it in Seattle, came home and wrote the verses.  I recorded myself plunking piano awkwardly, which fits the song.  This is probably my favorite song.  Because it reminds me of that beautiful day.  Of the way God’s favor was and is on Cody and Stella.  Of how God’s favor is on us…

God is so good….

Your Favor
Though I see through darkened glass
I will trust in You
Though I can’t forget my past
I will dwell on You
It seems the days turn into years
As Years go by as days
And as I rejoice through my tears
I delight in all Your ways

And as I stumble awkwardly
Through life
Toward You…
You give my greatest friend to me…
Someone who mirrors You

Your favor rests upon me…

Song written:  August 9, 14, 2017
Song recorded:  August 14, 2017
Song first released:  August 15, 2017

Your Favor

You can pre-order my new record here!  If you pre-order today, you’ll get EVERY song on it today!  Almost a week before everyone else!  🙂

Dreaming of Home Again…

Future-2-If I Could Leave This Place

Closer Than I’ve Ever Been

Let’s face it – life here on earth in some way or another just plain sucks…

I don’t mean to be a complainer.  I have a wonderful life.  I have an incredible wife, beautiful kids and grandkids.  My family keeps growing!  And it’s wonderful.  God has been good to me.

But everybody has to wake up at some point each day.  We all work by the sweat of our brow, in some way.  We get in fights.  We get sick.  We get hurt – and we hurt others…  Even the best of lives has something, at some point, that – sucks.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”  (John 16:33)

The whole premise of this record was a longing for something greater.  A longing for God – to see Him face to face.  To finally be HOME.

And I wanted to write a hymn that talked to that.  That brought Him glory.  That was honest, not syryp-y Christian-y – blech.

I tried…

I couldn’t do it…

Sometimes words don’t come.  You can’t force them.

So what if I found a modern day hymn-writer, and did one of his songs?

Jeromy Darling!  My brother, has written some amazing, beautiful modern-day hymns.  These songs, much like many of the great traditional hymns, were written in some of the worst times of Jer’s life.  Yet he praises God with abandon.

So I asked Jer, “Can I do your song?”  He of course said yes, because he’s wonderful.  And I tried my best to do it justice.  To do it my way, so as to not and try and recreate what he did (which is beautiful – give it a listen!).  To honor God through my version of Jer’s song.

I hope you like it Jer.  And God bless you.

Closer Than I’ve Ever Been
It’s never enough to miagine
It’s never enough in the mind’s eye
Your face is seen by no one
So if I can ask you for anything
Than I’m askin’…

Hold my hand…
I’m sick of fighting in a foreign land
Dreaming of home again
When home’s the only place I’ve never been
Heart in hand
Your child’s askin’ for the promised land
And in your arms again
I find I’m closer than I’ve ever been…

Song written:  Some time in 2008 I think?  I never asked
Song recorded:  June 6, 8, 17, 18, 30, 2017
Song first released:  June 6, 2017
Songwriters:  Jeromy Darling

Katianna Carlon – Backing Vocals

Closer Than I’ve Ever Been

You can pre-order my new record here!