Reputation…

I don’t know who wrote this.  I know it was not me, so I am stealing it.  But I thought it quite profound, wanted to share…

“Our only option in responding to our spouses is either to glorify or to degrade them”.

This hits me square in the face…  How do I respond to my wife?  Sure, when I like her, I glorify her!  I adore my wife – she truly is the apple of my eye.  I’d do anything for her.  Anything.

But – when I don’t like her so much?  (and if you don’t know what I’m talking about, I would bet you are not married 🙂 )  Well…  I’m not so keen to do anything for her…  And I confess, I degrade her…

No, not publicly.  Not even privately.  I tend to err on the side of avoiding saying anything negative about my wife, even to my closest friends.  EVEN if I’m thinking differently in my heart.  I just sort of started that habit, as I certainly don’t want to be “that guy”, who talks disparagingly about his wife.  My lovey lives by that same standard – I’m certainly a blessed man!

But – the key there is, “even if I’m thinking differently in my heart”.  I do think differently in my heart at times…  This is by no fault of my wife.  This is my heart.  I let it run sometimes, with wicked thoughts.  In that moment – I’m degrading my wife…

Also – I can set unreasonable expectations on my wife.  With our time, with our activities, in the area of sex…  In that, I’m degrading my wife…

I’m sure I’m no different than most.  We are sinners.  We’re broken, hurting people.  So we break and hurt people.

I’m so thankful the Lord has given us grace, for when we do treat our spouses like this.  And He is faithful, and has given my wife grace, for when I act this way towards her (Oh, she knows.  I can’t hide what is my heart from her – THANK GOD).  And likewise – He’s given me grace for those rare occasions when she might degrade me (she is not perfect, as much as I may so often think so 🙂 ).

My prayer is this:

Whatever is true
Whatever is noble
Whatever is right
Whatever is pure
Whatever is lovely
Whatever is admirable
If anything is excellent or praiseworthy
Think about such things…
Philippians 4:8

When I think about my wife, I pray that I will more and more GLORIFY her, and less and less degrade her.

I have a friend who has said, more than once, “I try and make it a point to protect my wife’s reputation.  Especially in my mind…”  Yeah – I like that.  Lord willing, I will live that way as well.

So – how do you protect your spouse’s reputation?  How do you respond to your spouse?  Do you glorify your spouse?  Or do you degrade them?

 

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I Will Set Before My Eyes No Vile Thing…

I will set before my eyes no vile thing.  The deeds of faithless men I hate; they will not cling to me…

Psalm 101:3

I don’t get a lot of blog followers.  So when I do, I would typically check them out – who is interested in what I have to say???  I’d check out their site, what they have to say.  Harmless.  Sometimes interesting.

Recently this woman followed my blog.  Turns out it’s some actress.  I’ve never heard of her.  I’m not even sure if it was HER, or if maybe her PR runs her pages and they are following people in hopes of gaining her attention?  Not sure.

But when I went to her page – I was drawn in by her beauty.  And some of the pictures I saw of her, that were, a little “racy”.  Nothing pornographic.  But certainly enough to get a guy to look at what he should not look at.  Many may disagree with me, and think that is ok, or cool, or that I’m a prude or a perv (or both) for calling this out.  And this person, if she actually reads this, might be offended.  I don’t mean to offend, or shame her.  Really, I don’t.  I actually thought about not writing this.  But in the end – I am called to speak the truth, even if it DOES offend at times.  And the TRUTH is, she is so much more valuable to God than some pictures that truly devalue her.

So – she has these pictures up.  People like me will ogle them.  Everyone today seems to think this is ok.  It’s “empowering women”, something like that.  But it’s NOT.  It’s not in any way giving women equality, freedom, respect, you name it.  It’s actually bringing them down to a level where us men – us pigs – can control them, own them, do our bidding with them.  WE MEN should be ashamed of the industry we’ve created, in the way we have de-humanized women…

I’ve been so guilty of de-humanizing women in the past.  I was into strip clubs, porn, you name it.  I never gave a thought to the fact that these poor girls were someone’s daughter, sister, mother, wife.  I certainly never gave a thought to the fact that they, like I, were created in the image of God…  And I have struggled with this, since the Lord saved me some seven years ago.  I probably will, the rest of my life.  But by God’s grace, struggling doesn’t mean losing, giving in, overlooking the TRUE beauty in someone, that given by our Creator God.

Anyway – by God’s grace, I was able to leave the page.  And I won’t go back.  No offense, new follower.  Or anyone else, for that matter.

But if it does bother you – and you are a woman – ask yourself, what sort of power or respect do I honestly gain by exploiting myself?  Those that are exploiting me, do they truly value me as a human being?  Do they REALLY love me?  Be honest with yourself, and please realize, you are so much more valuable than that.  you ARE beautiful, inside and out, because God made you beautiful, inside and out.  You are created in the image of God!  HE NUMBERS THE HAIRS ON YOUR HEAD!  Means he knows every single detail about you, and he cares for YOU.  Yes, YOU.

And if you are a guy – ask yourself, what will I gain by exploiting this girl?  Is this REALLY going to make me happy?  If you are honest with yourself, the answer is no. You know you will hide it in shame, or at least justify it and try and make it cool, cause you are ashamed.  But there is FREEDOM for you as well.  Cause God cares for you as well.  You are so loved.  so much so, he gave his only begotten Son.  for you, brother…

Needless to say, I don’t think I’ll check out my follower’s pages anymore.  🙂

I may offend someone.  Not many will see this, cause my blog isn’t heavily read at all.  But I pray someone does, who needs to read it.  And I pray you understand that you are so much more than this.  you were created for so much more than this…

God is so Good!  Praise God!

Grace…

Grace does not mean we can do whatever we want, without consequence.  Grace saves us from believing the lie that we can do whatever we want, without consequence.

We CAN  do whatever we want.  But God will not be mocked.  A man reaps what he sows (Galatians 6:7).

There are consequences for everything.  Yes, we are forgiven for EVERYTHING through Christ on the cross.  But that forgiveness should drive us to a desire to avoid sin.  Of any kind.

Yes, we will battle our flesh, all of our days on earth.  But we can take comfort knowing that we will not just “get away with it”, when we give in.  There is a consequence for everything, good or bad.  Grace promises us this.

Is the consequence what we deserve?  Given that Romans 6:23 says, “The wages of sin is death”, I say no.  We deserve death.  But the verse ends with, “but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus”.  What a tremendous gift!  Let’s not look the gift horse in the mouth…

Grace does not mean we can do whatever we want, without consequence.  Graces saves us from believing the lie that we can do whatever we want, without consequence.

Murder Kills…

I wrote this post about abortion more than two years ago.  But I must confess – I don’t often think about it.  Abortion, or my blog post.  It’s just one of those topics that I have my opinion on.  But when I read this post, I’m convicted of the fact that MILLIONS of lives are being taken – and I have my opinion on it, but that is about it.

That’s it…

THAT’S IT???

That can’t be it!

I was praying this morning, and I was thinking about a dialog among friends, where a woman stated that more children don’t fit into her life, and if she would get pregnant, she would definitely abort.  I was not part of this conversation, sadly.  Not that I would add any value, but I would want to ask her a question.  And not my two questions in the previous post – though I STILL think they are valid questions that nobody seems to want to address.

No – I would ask her this:  “How do you think you’d handle having an abortion?  How do you think your husband would handle having an abortion?  What would that do to you and your family?”

I am convinced that ALL of the people who have been involved in an abortion are affected negatively by this.  Physically, maybe.  But emotionally, absolutely.  It would affect a person in one of two ways:

  • Guilt, shame, condemnation, pain, loss
  • Justification, heart-hardening, excusing, defensiveness

Both are destructive, and both are methods the enemy would use to destroy us.  As much as I value that life that was taken – it’s done for them.   But for those left behind?  The mother, the father, family, friends, our communities, our society, humanity?  It’s a lifetime of devastation.   I titled this post, “Murder Kills”, because of how abortion affects not just the one who lost their life.   There is a ripple effect on everyone.  For our society, that is more than a lifetime.

If you look at how we as a society look at life today – it is VERY different than it was in the past.  Heck, recently there was a woman who filmed herself having an abortion, posted it on the internet – and SEVERAL people are applauding her for her bravery!

Bravery??  This poor, mis-guided girl has NO IDEA how she will regret this down the road, if she is really honest with herself.  No idea.

And neither do I.

Oh – but I do.  I’ve not been involved in an abortion – but I was involved in a divorce.  Nobody actually DIED.  But I killed that marriage.  I killed part of my kids and my ex-wife through it.  That is another post, but I use that as an example of an abortion.  I aborted my marriage, which had a major ripple effect.  On my ex, on my kids, on our parents and siblings, on our co-workers – on down the line.  Do I regret it?  Yes, if I’m honest.

And if this poor girl is honest with herself – she does too.  Or she will.  Or worse – her heart is hardened even more, pushing her further and further into death.

See, the bottom line is, the devil WANTS us to kill each other.  He loves that we are going our own way, closer and closer to destruction.  He’s overjoyed this poor girl is heading down a path that leads to her death….

I pray against that.  I pray, Lord, that you heal her.  That she is no longer held in bondage, conformed to the pattern of this world.  I pray that she realize that you are real, that you love her.  HER.   Yes, the woman who filmed her abortion.  YOU LOVE HER.  Passionately.  With a jealous love.  With an everlasting love.  I pray that she is yours, Lord, even if she doesn’t realize it now.  That she is protected from the shame, condemnation, depression, that is very likely to come – not by man, in her own mind.  I pray Lord that you remove her from her pain and restore her to you, for your glory.

I was going to post the video.  I even found a link to a story.  But then as I read, I found that it seemed  to be condemning her.  I don’t want to do that.  She’s already done that, in her mind.  And judgment is left for God alone.  I want to pray for her.  And ask you to pray for her as well.  Please.

Instead, I am going to post a video by Francis Chan, John Piper and John Ensor, from January.  They talk about this atrocity in detail, and even show pictures.  Please, do not watch this video, unless you are completely ok seeing that…  It is disturbing…  You need to be ok with the fact that you will see something that will leave you – DIFFERENT.  That you CANNOT think the same about this as you did before.  if you are not a believer, if you are pro-choice – please don’t watch.  This is not posted to change your mind.  This is posted for those like me, who have been opposed to abortion, but really don’t care.  We really don’t care that millions of lives are taken, and millions upon millions of lives are destroyed through this…

Anyway, they say a lot of things that I do not articulate well in my post.  They pretty much hit the nail on the head, in my opinion.  A link to the video is at the bottom of this post.  Again – WATCH WITH CAUTION.

I titled this post, “Murder kills” – because the gist of it is I feel those who have been duped into thinking this is the answer, or this is acceptable, or those children are not humans, are lost.  They have been destroyed a little inside.  They are dead…  Thanks to Christ Jesus, though, who can take a dead man and bring him back to life.  He did it for this dead man.  If you are one of the dead I am referring to – there is hope for you.  Put your hope in the only one worthy – Christ the Lord.

I pray you are well.

T.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIUN-ZR5xzM