I don’t know who wrote this. I know it was not me, so I am stealing it. But I thought it quite profound, wanted to share…
“Our only option in responding to our spouses is either to glorify or to degrade them”.
This hits me square in the face… How do I respond to my wife? Sure, when I like her, I glorify her! I adore my wife – she truly is the apple of my eye. I’d do anything for her. Anything.
But – when I don’t like her so much? (and if you don’t know what I’m talking about, I would bet you are not married 🙂 ) Well… I’m not so keen to do anything for her… And I confess, I degrade her…
No, not publicly. Not even privately. I tend to err on the side of avoiding saying anything negative about my wife, even to my closest friends. EVEN if I’m thinking differently in my heart. I just sort of started that habit, as I certainly don’t want to be “that guy”, who talks disparagingly about his wife. My lovey lives by that same standard – I’m certainly a blessed man!
But – the key there is, “even if I’m thinking differently in my heart”. I do think differently in my heart at times… This is by no fault of my wife. This is my heart. I let it run sometimes, with wicked thoughts. In that moment – I’m degrading my wife…
Also – I can set unreasonable expectations on my wife. With our time, with our activities, in the area of sex… In that, I’m degrading my wife…
I’m sure I’m no different than most. We are sinners. We’re broken, hurting people. So we break and hurt people.
I’m so thankful the Lord has given us grace, for when we do treat our spouses like this. And He is faithful, and has given my wife grace, for when I act this way towards her (Oh, she knows. I can’t hide what is my heart from her – THANK GOD). And likewise – He’s given me grace for those rare occasions when she might degrade me (she is not perfect, as much as I may so often think so 🙂 ).
My prayer is this:
Whatever is true
Whatever is noble
Whatever is right
Whatever is pure
Whatever is lovely
Whatever is admirable
If anything is excellent or praiseworthy
Think about such things…
When I think about my wife, I pray that I will more and more GLORIFY her, and less and less degrade her.
I have a friend who has said, more than once, “I try and make it a point to protect my wife’s reputation. Especially in my mind…” Yeah – I like that. Lord willing, I will live that way as well.
So – how do you protect your spouse’s reputation? How do you respond to your spouse? Do you glorify your spouse? Or do you degrade them?