Give the Gift…

Wedding Coat Cover

So this is pretty cool!  Bandcamp has a new offering, where I can give you my entire catalog at a reduced rate!  That’s FOUR records (I have more, but this is what I have available to you right now.  If you want more – we can discuss), at 25% off!  AND – if you act now, your money will go to Know the Truth Ministries, toward marriage counseling for some blessed couple (or couples, God-willing).  AND – I’m still matching up to $1000!  So – you get a deal, and so to others!  Wowsers!  You can buy my music here:

BUY MY MUSIC!!! HELP OTHERS!!!

In case you were not aware, I’m doing a campaign, with my music, where all money raised (ALL of it, not just proceeds) will go towards marriage counseling sessions with Know the Truth Ministries, a Christian counseling organization.  You can read about it here:

Wedding Coat Campaign

And you can read about this wonderful ministry here:

Know the Truth Ministries

So – when you go to my Bandcamp page , click on any record you want.  You will see an option that looks sorta like this:

Catalog

Notice the option to buy the entire catalog at 25% off.  And you DON’T EVEN HAVE TO STAND IN LINE!!!  What a deal!

Of course you CAN give more – and ALL OF IT will go to marriage counseling, plus my match.  We are at $712 right now, counting my match.  My original goal was $2000 (1k, plus my 1k match).  I’d love to get there over the holidays.  You can help, and you can even save money while helping!  I can’t stop blabbering about how COOL this is!  THANK YOU BANDCAMP!!!!

And remember – you do NOT have to buy my music to help.  You can give directly, get the tax write-off, send me the receipt, and I will match that too!  Go here to do that, if you like.

Give Directly

One last thing – when shopping my music, notice the “Send as Gift” option.  If you like my music, want to share with others, you can do that as a Christmas gift!  I think that is kinda weird, as I don’t know who I personally would give my music as a gift to…. But – maybe you tell them that you helped a struggling couple out with the purchase, I don’t know.  It’s there if you want it.

I can’t thank you enough for considering.  For those who have supported this campaign thus far, through monies and mostly through prayer.  You are wonderful people, and I love you so much.  Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, and Christmas season.

T.

The Vow

Wedding Coat Cover

The Vow

This is the fifth song from my new EP titled “Wedding Coat” – a project I put together and am selling to raise funds for marriage counseling, for some couple or couples I may never meet.  🙂  You can read about it here:

Wedding Coat Campaign

Know the Truth Ministries

I asked a dear friend, Katianna Carlon, to sing on this, as this song is written with two perspectives.  Verse one is the disenchanted husband speaking, Verse two, the wife.  I thought it might be odd to sing that part myself, so I wanted a female voice to do so.  Katianna nailed it!  She’s an amazing singer, really.  I did another song with her on the “My Praise” record, and hope to be able to do more in the future.

So this song – another dear friend of mine actually wrote the first couple lines, some twenty plus years ago.  They rang in my head, as I was contemplating this project.  He gave me permission to use them, so I did. Then the idea of trying to capture the perspectives of the persons involved in a struggling, failing, or failed marriage came about.  Both the bride and the groom have a story. They had a story before they met.  They have a story together as a married couple.  And sadly, so often they have separate stories as husband and wife.  Truth is, we are either going to grow together as a husband and wife, or we are going to grow apart.  There is no standing still…

With the people I’ve been in contact with, going through a divorce, when they tell me their story – they always have a side, a perspective.  A perspective that most often is not wrong.  They lived it, what they are retelling is not made up.  And really, by the world’s standards, they probably have a “right” to get divorced, or at least be OK with it.  I do think in most cases of divorce, the marriage was kinda over before the words “I want a divorce” were uttered.  But I would argue, that doesn’t make it OK to seek or approve of divorce…  We would do well to remember that, when emotions are running high…

So – this is a wake-up call, to those who are still married.  Whether happily or not.  SEEK your wife.  SEEK your husband.  Cultivate that garden!  Remember that vow you made, so long (or not so long) ago?  Yeah – remember it…

I know most of you in a failed or failing marriage, you have TRIED.  I know…  At the risk of offending you, and without knowing every possible story – I’m just asking you, Try again…

As I mentioned in the other posts, I am selling this record to raise money for marriage counseling.  Please prayerfully consider giving to this cause, to save maybe just ONE marriage.  You can buy my music here:

Wedding Coat EP

My Praise

Or, if you like, you can donate directly to the ministry here:

https://northlandcounseling.us/Donate.html

I have a goal to raise $1000, and I will match that dollar for dollar.  As of today, we are at $712, counting my match.  Almost a quarter the way!  Will you help me obtain this goal?

I love you!

T.

The Vow

Vase of broken flowers
Lies dead on the floor
When we fought for hours
Still you wanted more
You never hear me…
You never hear me…

Where is the woman that I knew
There was life inside of you
Where is the woman that I loved
When I was young

Heart in broken pieces
Like every promise you made
All my life is depleted
And I can’t even feel the pain
You never show me love…
You never show me love…

Where is the man that I once knew
There was love inside of you
Where is the man that I vowed to
Love to the end

I don’t dream of you no more
I don’t recall what life what like before
Show me you need me…
Show me you need me…
Show me you need me…
I’m holding on by a thread…

Where is the heart we built together
Ripped apart, the world has plundered
Where are you now?
I miss the one…
Where are you now, I miss the one
Who never let me go
Never let me go…
Never let me go…

Vase of broken flowers
Lies dead on the floor
Please, love, let’s talk for hours
I’ll pick up the pieces
I promise I’ll give you more…

God Is Good…  All the Time…

A cornball Christian saying. Or is it?

I’m reminded of this cornball Christian saying, and my heart is warmed, as I am able to comfort dear friend going through horrendous divorce.  It’s nothing I can do, but God works through our time together. He is comforted, if even for a moment. God uses us this way when we are willing. God is good…  All the time…

I’m reminded of this cornball Christian saying, and my heart is warmed, as I hear and see people lay down their agendas, if even for a moment, as their hearts break compassionately for those who lost love ones. Those who suffered terror at the hands of cowards. If it was even just a small fraction of time, people showed they are created in the image of God in the way they cared for others. May seem small to you, but it’s A big deal to someone who is hurting. God is good…  All the time…

I need to remember this as life goes on. As walls Are built between us.  As our flesh gives way to fear, judgment, condemnation. 

There.  Is. No. Fear. In. Love.
Even when our hearts break. Even when things don’t go the way they should. Even when we can’t understand. God is good… All the time…

I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

‭‭(Psalm‬ ‭27:13-14‬ ‭NIV‬‬)

What Do You Meme? (Or “Why I Quit Facebook”) (Or “Don’t Buy What They’re Selling”)

Meme

I find it odd, funny, sad, maybe sometimes irritating, how many memes we can find, post, like, steal, to try and prove a point and shut down the opposition with 20 words or less.  Aha!  I got you now, disagree-er of mine!  For now, anyway, until the next clever saying becomes popular.

We all know what the latest social media “thing” has been.  I won’t name it, cause you know. Also, if you are reading this post some time later (maybe even a week later), that “thing” will have changed – and you’ll still know what it is, because we all know.

I was off Facebook for a while, and it was kinda nice to be one of the persons “under a rock”.  Life was good…

But I re-opened my Facebook, to promote my “Wedding Coat” campaign.  I gotta say – while it’s helped, I find myself scrolling through the sludge, letting my head and my heart get caught up in garbage!  Gotta spend that time better, I think.

I do however want to address a cleverly worded, but sad, meme or saying that I saw recently.  I hope to lovingly counter this way of thinking, as, well – it’s wrong.  Here we go.

“Divorce isn’t such a tragedy.  A tragedy is staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching children the wrong things about love.” (and this one ended with “Nobody ever died of divorce”)

This is a common way of thinking today.  That’s so sad…  Now, if this meme said “A tragedy is staying in an abusive or adulterous marriage…”, that would make more sense.  But unhappy?  We should just check out if we’re unhappy?  THAT is teaching our children the wrong things about love.

Love is not a feeling, though we do feel love.  And we as a society have given to that.  “All you need is love”.  But if love is just what you feel – I’m really saying, “All you need is to please yourself”, or better yet, “All you need is to please ME”.  Because that “love” is really what makes you happy.  LOVE – the action – isn’t fun, very often.  It’s work.  It’s sacrifice.  It’s certainly joyful, happy, at times.  But in a relationship you get out what you put in.  And we’re not perfect.  So sometimes we’re going to put in garbage.  The bible says, “Love covers a multitude of sins”.  This means we are to forgive others, when they wrong us.  It does NOT mean we are a doormat (remember, I’m not talking about allowing abuse).  But we do need to forgive, and continue to cultivate the soil of our marriage.  Or, we can only expect weeds.

My wife is a gardener.  We have beautiful gardens, cause she puts the work into them.  If she did not, they would be weed-infested, crap-beds.  The same holds true for marriage.  If you don’t put the work into it, you will have a weed-infested crap-bed for a marriage.

So, my loving counter to the above statement is this:

“Divorce IS a tragedy.  An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.  Show your children the true meaning of love, by loving your spouse (Nobody ever wins in divorce)”

I get that this may not work for someone who’s already gotten divorced.  My response to that is, please, PLEASE, no matter what your situation was, acknowledge that it’s tragic that it ended in divorce.  Heck, you GOT married at some point, because you probably “felt” love for them.  And when it ended, even if you “felt” freedom in the act of divorce – we all know it’s not what you had originally planned.  Perpetuating that divorce is a GOOD thing, feeds that way of thinking to our young world – our children.  And we are teaching them truly the wrong things about love…

So if you have been divorced, own it.  You don’t have to be shamed, or wear a scarlet letter D.  But own that things did not go as planned, and it’s tragic.  It’s ok, you’re not perfect.  Neither am I.  Nobody but Jesus is.  Just don’t try and justify what happened, and sell it as righteous.  I love you, and you are hurting yourself and others by buying into and selling that lie…

To those who are young, getting married (Or newly married) – don’t buy this faulty product the world is selling.  SEEK your spouse.  Love them, in action. Respect them, even when in the moment you don’t.  TALK TO OTHERS ABUT YOUR MARRIAGE – and not the ones who will side with only YOU, when things hit the fan.  Have people in your life who love you both, deeply, who can speak to you truthfully.  Be hunble enough to submit your marriage to others, for the sake of your marriage.  After God, your spouse is THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON in your life.  Don’t ever forget that…

To those that are older, in “the ball and chain” life…  It’s not too late to turn it around.  Guys, remember the wife of your youth.  You loved her, and you love her still. She’s not your roommate, not your enemy.  GO AFTER HER.  If  you don’t, someone else will.  She needs your love, don’t rob her of that.  Remember, she’s not your enemy…

And ladies – your husband needs to know you trust him.  That you respect him.  Show it to him, even when he doesn’t deserve it.  Remember, he’s not your enemy…

I am going to put together a list of options, for people.  For those married, marriage retreat options, marriage counseling options, other resources that can prove helpful.  I can already give you a link to a great counseling organization, Northland Counseling Services.  They are just one option, among many.  They would be a great option, whether your marriage is healthy or struggling.

To those who have suffered through divorce, or are going through it – I will do the same.  Here is one great option right now.

Look for most posts like this.  And remember – love, the love the world has shown you and is trying to, is NOT all you need…

I love you.

T.

 

This Broken Home…

Wedding Coat Cover

This Broken Home

This is the third song from my new EP titled “Wedding Coat” – a project I put together and am selling to raise funds for marriage counseling, for some couple or couples I may never meet.  🙂  You can read about it here:

Wedding Coat Campaign

Know the Truth Ministries

I wrote this song, “God Save This Broken Home”, shortly after finding out my ex wife’s new husband was leaving her.  This sort of sent me reeling.  Really???  He seemed to be such a great guy, was great with the kids, etc.  I didn’t know much about him to be honest.  I still don’t.  But he left, and it tore that house apart.  Including my kids, her family – AGAIN.

I wrestled selfishly with the thought that had I not ended our marriage, this would never have occurred.  And while that is selfish thought  – there is truth to that thought (the devil works his lies in with truth statements all the time…).

And no matter what – it was another divorce my kids were subjected to.  I talked about this before – divorce is like a nuclear bomb.  It leaves a devastating wake of destruction, that lasts for years.  I would argue it potentially affects generations…  Going through TWO divorces – I just couldn’t imagine…  So this song was borne out of that.

It used to have more of a “You owe me something, God!” vibe.  I removed that, going more for the “I’m on my face, I need you Lord” instead.  I think that is more appropriate.  I’ve seen loved ones act in both ways – heck, I have myself.  It’s a rough spot to be, and your emotions are a mess, even if you think you wanted it.  Divorce is a mother…

But there is hope.  God says He hates divorce.  It’s one of the few things in the bible that God says He hates (that, and religion – go figure).  But while He hates divorce – He loves you.  Even if you got divorced.  Even if you caused it.

And He is close to the broken hearted, as it says in the Psalms.   If you are hurting – don’t turn Him away.  He’s all you have…

As I mentioned in the other posts, I am selling this record to raise money for marriage counseling.  Please prayerfully consider giving to this cause, to save maybe just ONE marriage.  You can buy my music here:

Wedding Coat EP

My Praise

Or, if you like, you can donate directly to the ministry here:

https://northlandcounseling.us/Donate.html

I have a goal to raise $1000, and I will match that dollar for dollar.  As of today, we are at $712, counting my match.  Almost a quarter the way!  Will you help me obtain this goal?

I love you!

T.

This Broken Home

God, save this broken home
Once was loved, now so alone
I can’t make it one more day
Take this broken heart away

God save me…

Save me from this tired life
Restore me, Lord, restore my life
I’m broken and I can’t find peace
You’re supposed to rescue me

God save me…

The Lord is close to the broken hearted…

Girl You’re Gonna Fall…

Wedding Coat Cover

Girl You’re Gonna Fall

This is the third song from my new EP titled “Wedding Coat” – a project I put together and am selling to raise funds for marriage counseling, for some couple or couples I may never meet.  🙂  You can read about it here:

Wedding Coat Campaign

Know the Truth Ministries

I wrote the lyrics to this song, “Girl You’re Gonna Fall” back in like 1992.  It was originally about a girl we knew, sweetest girl, who found her identity in a guy.  To the point where she completely compromised herself.  Sad.  Common.  But sad…

So – why does it fit into this record?  Well, I was thinking about this song, and how we often do just that, when we want something new, something better than what we have.  I did that, when I ended my marriage.  I was seeking the high of “new”.

And I know of people who have done that, or are doing that…  “If only you knew”, is all I can say.  If only you knew what you have.  Perfect?  Far from it.  Could it be better?  Yes.  Do you deserve better?  Well, that depends on who you ask.  If you ask the world – YES.  If you ask me – no.  But you can be assured of better, in Jesus Christ.

See, I think that is the key ingredient missing in any failed marriage.  JESUS.  Yes, there are Christians who get divorced…  Yes, there are occasions where someone was left behind, and they had no choice in the matter.  Yes, there are occasions where someone is an adulterous and unrepentant.  Yes, even if someone is at risk of harm or death – that all makes sense.  But most divorces – Christian or not –  are for selfish gain.  And if only you knew what you lose…  What everyone loses…

And more important – if you only knew what you can HAVE in Jesus Christ!  This is not some simple “say this prayer, check this box” thing.  This is the God of the universe seeking YOU!  Yes, even you, who killed your marriage.  Even you who the world says are “bound for hell” because of it.  I say – really, we are all bound for hell.  And it’s because of Christ that we are redeemed!  I care more about your salvation in Christ, than I ever will in your marriage.  THAT is the reason I wanted to do this project – to reflect Jesus to you, to SHOW Christ to you, in words and action.  To show you His love, even if others say you don’t deserve it.  I probably can’t change your mind about your marriage?  But if I can show you Christ, maybe He can…

So I re-wrote this song, hoping the meaning comes across.  I completely re-wrote the music to these words.

If this song is about you – please don’t be offended.  If this is about you – please know that I love you.  I’ll love you even if you decide to go through with it.  But I say this because I love you – if only you knew…

 

I love you…

T.

Girl You’re Gonna Fall

So many times
Different conversations
You don’t even know yourself
You want so bad
Just to be happy
Then why do you choose to live in hell?
And after it all
Where will you be standing?
Are you better off alone?
Well don’t try so hard
To make somebody love you
Or girl you’re gonna fall
Girl you’re gonna fall

Sometimes he makes you cry
You’ll get by
Sometimes you wonder why
You’ll get by

Broken hearts mend
Lucky for you
We both know you’ve had your share
Caught in the middle
Run yourself in circles
Girl you’re runnin’ nowhere
Girl you’re runnin’ nowwhere

Sometimes he makes you cry
You’ll get by
Sometimes you wonder why
You’ll get by

After it’s over
Where will you be standing?
Are you better off alone?
Don’t try so hard
To make somebody love you
Or girl you’re gonna fall
Girl you’re gonna fall
Girl you’re gonna fall…