Another song off my record, “My Praise” – the second of two projects I put together and am selling to raise funds for marriage counseling, for some couple or couples I may never meet. 🙂 You can read about it here:
This song is about addiction. I “tried” to capture some of the feeling an addict would have, in moments of weakness, failure, falling back. I’m writing this, never really having been addicted to drugs or alcohol. So one would think, “You’re never going to REALLY understand what goes on in a person’s head, in their heart, how controlled and out of control they are”.
Thing is, I really wrote this song about my addiction to food. To complete garbage, that does nothing but make my body and mind weak, makes me suffer (yes, as you age, you FEEL everything you put in your body…), leaves me with a nasty hangover. But the high… Oh the high…
See addiction to food is one most anyone can cover up. Sure, there could be physical signs of an over-eater. But not necessarily for everyone. And for me, who is overweight – hey, I may not be as bad as some. In America, even with the health kicks going on – we are CONSUMERS. So those physical signs are either not noticed, or “don’t talk about that, you might offend someone”. Funny, even if I’m talking about myself, I might offend someone…
Also – you can be a “functional drunk”, when you get your high from sugar, chips, food. You can still work. You can still be around family. You can hold conversations – heck, food is part of many great conversations.
And – food, you need it to live! Other substances, you cannot argue that. Food – you need. Food – is GOOD.
I do not say this to paint myself as “poor Ted”. I wrote this, to deal with, before the Lord, a struggle I have. One I fail with constantly. I don’t know why – why would Jesus not just take it away? Especially when I so often put it before Him? How is that fair???
The only reason I can think, that makes sense to me, is that He loves me enough to give me that choice. In the moment, I can give in to the temptation that will give me great pleasure – FOR A MOMENT, then it is gone, replaced with shame, self-pity, self-loathing, bloating, often more cravings… OR – I can choose Him, who gives me GREAT JOY, with no ill side-effects.
I’ve had moments of victory, thank you Jesus. Christ is the only reason. I’ve made commitments over and over to Him, to honor Him with my body. I’ve failed over and over. And over…
But He has not. For He has not given up on me. That which he began, He will complete.
God is good…
As I mentioned in the other posts, I am selling this record to raise money for marriage counseling. Please prayerfully consider giving to this cause, to save maybe just ONE marriage. You can buy my music here:
Or, if you like, you can donate directly to the ministry here:
I have a goal to raise $1000, and I will match that dollar for dollar. As of today, we only need less than $200 to make that goal! Will you help me obtain this goal?
I love you!