Song Story #4 – I’m Sorry

sins-of-the-father-final

I’m Sorry

This is another song I re-did.  I wrote this song like four years ago or so.  It’s about my time “raising” my kids, while I was a new divorcee, with a sole desire of seeking worldly pleasures.

Now “sole desire” is a bit strong.  Or was it?  Sure, I loved my kids.  I was super thankful that I had them 1/2 of the time.  But even that – 1/2 of the time – kinda really sucks.  For me, for their mother, sure.  For them – DEFINITELY.

And even on my 1/2 of the time, I was thinking about my free time.  Parties, drinking.  I was tired.  I was not there, even when I was there…

Heck  – even before my 1/2 of the time, I wasn’t really there…

And my kids suffered for it..

So this song – was originally my way of saying to them, “Please forgive me, I know I’ve wronged you.”.  But it ended up so much more.

I’ve played this song at shows in the past, and it always opened the door for me to talk about my past, and how I affected my kids.  And I’d plead with those who were the child in there own divorce situation (their past, or even going through it now) – to hold on.  Because God has their back, even if their parents don’t in that moment.  And I’d beg those who were “me”, the ender of the marriage, to consider the impact of a decision like this.  See – most people who get a divorce, are not thinking of the long-term impact.  They may like to think they are – but they are not.  They are mostly thinking of themselves.

  • I know a statement like that is a generalization, and it may not fit every situation.  And then some don’t have a choice, they are the left behind in a divorce (Much like the children).  But bear with me – if we talk in broad strokes, most divorces are convenience divorces
  • If this doesn’t apply to you, please don’t take it personally.  If you were left behind, or had to leave due to abuse or infidelity (which is also abuse), then know my description doesn’t apply to you.  And I mourn for you as well…

So this song, just fit the theme of this record.  I decided to re-record it.  The original was more of a piano piece, with a pseudo-techno beat.  I played this more straight on guitar this time around, as I had played it live (I can’t really play piano well enough to play it live – so even my piano songs end up on guitar live).  I really like how it turned out musically.  I hope you do too!

I know it’s a deep, depressing, sad topic.  I want to reiterate – my intent with this entire record is NOT to depress anyone.  And I don’t want to keep dwelling on all the ways I have sucked it up.  I don’t do this to make me, or anyone else, out to be the villain.

I do so to show there is hope, even for the most hopeless, in Christ.  If at all this resonates with you, then praise God!

I’m Sorry
For all the times I’ve made you feel like you were anything but precious to me…
I’m sorry…
For all the times I cast you aside, ’cause I had other things on my mind…
I’m sorry…

I’m sorry that I let you down…
I’m sorry that I broke your heart…
Can’t live with “what if’s” anymore
Let’s take it back to the start

For times I forgot about you…
Left you alone to figure out what to do…
I’m sorry…
For all the times I stole your joy…
You were too young to know anything else…
I’m sorry…

I’m sorry that I let you down…
I’m sorry that I broke you heart…
Can’t live with “what if’s” anymore
Let’s take it back to the start

I’m Sorry

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