I’ve Already Said Too Much…

I've Said Too Much FINAL

I’ve Said Too Much

When I make a record, I am almost always trying to tell some sort of story.  Each song is doing so – and I would hope any songwriter is trying to communicate with the listener in some way – but I try to collect songs that tell a greater story of some sort.  I can’t say I do it perfectly.  In fact – I will say I do NOT do it perfectly.  But that is my desire with each record.

This one, “I’ve Said Too Much”, is attempting to tell the story of the human condition.  Whether one agrees with my worldview or not, we can all agree that each living person thinks and feels, breathes, consumes and produces, has a mix of joys and sorrows, etc.  Every human being in some way desires and seeks love, identity, value – to know THEY are valued.  Whether that be narcissistic or not, depends on how much value they put in being valued?  That last part was me attempting to sound smart.  Doesn’t work, so let’s move on…

I do believe the human condition really isn’t THAT different from person to person.  In this story, I’m talking to things such as depression, self-esteem, self-centeredness, pain, failure, loss, redemption.  One in particular, is depression, whether clinical, chronic, or a season in one’s life.  We have all  been there, to some varying degree.

Why bring this up, or talk to it?  I don’t bring it up, pretending to be any sort of expert (I’m not), or assume I have all the answers (I don’t), or even presume I know what you are going through (I simply can’t.  I can empathise – but I cannot pretend to be where you are emotionally, spiritually, physically, mentally, at this moment).  I bring it up, with hopes to encourage you – as I try to do with almost anything I write – that you are not alone, and YOU MATTER.

Yeah – you.

No, I’m not talking about him.  Or her.  Well – I mean, I AM talking to them as well.  But really – I am talking to you.  You know what I mean…  Another attempt at smart-soundedness.  Sorry…  😉

I’ll go through the record, song by song, as I have in the past.  For now, please enjoy my latest offering, and we’ll see you very soon!

Love, T.

I’ve Said Too Much


Thoughts and Prayers…

Don’t stop thinking. Direct your thoughts toward, “How can I help?” If even the loved one, co-worker, neighbor, who is scared or hurting or fed up. Can I listen? Can I bring comfort? Can I sit with you?

That won’t stop the next killer. But it might make the ones around us know they matter. Just a little?

Don’t stop praying. In fact – START praying! I’m willing to bet many who offer “thoughts and prayers”, did just that. Three whole words, typed out, or copied and pasted. That’s it…

Maybe we should pray. For real. For bondage to be broken for so many who are held captive to fear, hatred, shame, discord, pain, loss – all the things this world and the devil have to offer. All the things Jesus came to set us free from.

Start praying. You don’t have to tell me. Just pray for me? And I can for you?

And if you see no value in praying, ok. I understand, really I do. I can’t expect you to understand. But I pray for you, even more. Cause I love you, and thought of you held captive by all the world and the devil have to offer, breaks my heart…

So tell me – how can I help? Thoughts and prayers don’t help end the slaughter. Our government won’t help. Facebook fights don’t help – and I bet you agree, they do more harm than good, at least in our raw, emotional state. So tell me – what can I do for you? Right now? I probably don’t have anything real and tangible to offer the families of the victims (short of money – I can do that). But what do YOU need? Right now?

The Mercy Seat…

Christmas is upon us!  A time where we celebrate time spent with loved ones.  A time where we buy more than we can afford, for those we want to bless, or impress, or compete with, or  – maybe for ourselves?  A time where we sing songs and watch movies, all about Jesus, or Santa, or Rudolph, or something mixed.

A time where we reflect on the birth of the King of kings and Lord of lords.  A time where we remember that God came to be with us in flesh – and anticipate His ultimate return.

Think about this – we not only consider our own need for a Savior; we celebrate the fact that our Savior came!  And He came for us!  For you.  And for me.  If you or I were the only person He had to come and save – He would have come anyway.

This does not make you or I more important than anyone else – or for that matter, important at all.  But to Jesus – we are of utmost importance.  So much so, God came to us, as a baby, born of a virgin woman.  Born of woman, so as to be fully human, but not born of man, so as to be perfectly sinless.  Fully God, fully man.  Things I don’t fully comprehend.  I’m not so sure it’s important we “understand” everything.  I mean – do you fully understand in a clinical way how you love your child, or your spouse, or your parents?  Or how you are loved?  you don’t even try.  So don’t try with Jesus – just be loved…

This song is not a Christmas song.  But in many ways – it is.  It was borne out of a desire to remind us – or myself – that we are not in any way “earning our way into or out of heaven”.  Yes, as a child of God, I forget this truth, so often.  My catholic upbringing maybe?  🙂  I don’t know – but His mercy is not conditional, nor limited.  Nor for that matter, something in some distant future…

This song was also borne out of a desire to remind us that this mercy is NOT just for us.  it’s for anyone and everyone who believes.  Think about that.  The person you most dislike, or even loathe – they are not beyond His reach.  They are not too far gone for His mercy…

It’s a song for those who want some big “revelation”, or “epiphany”, in order to finally accept that Jesus is real, and is after their heart.  Just – STOP.  Just GIVE UP.  And lay that burden down.  It’s too heavy for you, you know this.  You don’t need some big flashy show to convince you of what you already know.  So let that go.  This song is for you…

You will not find Jesus where you want Him to be, in that perfect place or situation that you can control.  He finds you.  And His mercy is new…

Every day, His mercy is new…

This song is a free gift.  You can get it on Spotify or Apple – wherever you like to stream music – or you can download it from my Bandcamp page.  May your Christmas be merry, may your heart be filled, you find Christ on the mercy seat…

You Will Find Him On A Mercy Seat
You won’t find Him in your anger
Righteous as you think it is
Your hatred for brother or sistter
Just pushes the blade deeper in…

You won’t see Him in your behavior
No matter how hard you try
You are not locked out by your failure
Tell me, who sol you that lie?

You will find Him on a mercy seat
You will find Him in shalom
You will see His arms are wide open
As He welcomes you home…

You can’t hide Him from your secrets
Darkness cannot keep Him out
Shame does not lead you to freedom
Or help you lay burdens down

You won’t find Him in the hurricane
Or in fire or flood
Child, you’ll find Him in the whisper
That speaks of His eternal love…

You will find Him on a mercy seat
You will find Him in shalom
You will see His arms are wide open
As He welcomes you home…

My ears have heard of You
But now my eyes see only You…

You will find Him on a mercy seat
You will find Him in shalom
You will see His arms are wide open
As He welcomes you home

You Are Beautiful

You Are Beautiful

You Are Beautiful

I wrote this song after my last visit to San Francisco.  During that visit, I was reminded how easy it is to marginalize people.  We hear about this every day in the news and on social media.  But we don’t really talk about some of the most marginalized – those “dirty, scary people on that block you probably don’t want to walk down”….

My wife and I stayed on “that block” while in San Francisco, and we met some really sweet people.  We also ran into some people who are – probably insane.  The level of what seems to be insanity among the population we were among is more than I’d seen anywhere else (granted, I haven’t been everywhere – maybe this is more common?…).  We were really overwhelmed by this darkness.  I mean how do you reach someone who is incapable of being reached?  God have mercy…

We did run into a few people though who were wonderful and gracious enough to have chats with us.  Some were so pleased we would spend time with them, or even ask their name.  Some just wanted money for a fix.  Some were sleeping all day – maybe because it’s safer to sleep during the day?  I mean, that’s what I would do, if I lived on the streets – so we just left food at their feet.

Each story is heartbreaking, yet sweet.  These are PEOPLE!  With stories, and life, and dreams.  And value.  Never let someone tell you we as humans are insignificant.  As if it’s arrogant to put a value on a human (yes I heard this too, while staying in SF, at the conference I was at.  A very very intelligent man was spouting this lie to an audience who eat it up like steak…).  We as people ARE valued and valuable, to the One who created us.  This is not arrogant, because it speaks to HIS glory, not ours.

I wrote this song, after the visit.  For Anna, who lit up with the most beautiful smile, when we asked her what her name was.  For Doris, who could not see past her need for the next fix, even at the expense of the babies in her womb…  For Karen, who was actually the first person I approached, ten years ago.  I wonder what she’s up to today…

For Heather, who just needed a few more bucks to make rent, so she would not be thrown out on the street again.  For the Vietnam vet, who felt like he had no more use.  For the men piled on each other for warmth, as they slept in a forgotten alley…

I’m giving the song away.  But if anyone streams or downloads it, I’ll donate to a local Minneapolis organization called In Love Word and Deed.  They go out weekly and bring meals to people in Minneapolis.  They pray over and with, share love and good news with, get to know, cry over and with, these wonderful people.  They are wonderful people.  If you see fit, please consider helping them out.

And if you would, prayerfully consider, how your smile, your “hello”, your handshake or hug, might just show someone they matter.  Because they do.  And so do you…

You Are Beautiful

You are beautiful
You’re made perfectly
You are beautiful
You’re made in the image of Me

Dear Anna, such a beautiful smile
Such a beautiful name
And I call you mine
I’ve called you by name into My grace
My mercy is yours for the taking

Dear child, don’t you know yet?
Dear one, haven’t you heard

That you are beautiful
You’re made perfectly
You are beautiful
You’re made in the image of Me

Dear Doris, you don’t need that hit…
You don’t need that shame…
Cause you are My gift
I give you Myself
And that’s enough
If only you’d know this…

Dear child with a child of your own
Dear one, don’t let go…

Cause you are beautiful
You’re made perfectly
You are beautiful
You’re made in the image of Me

Dear Karen
Pure in heart
You think no one sees you…
But I do…
your name’s not forgotten
It’s on my book of life
And today you will hear me in paradise, say

You are beautiful
You’re made perfectly
You are beautiful
You’re made in the image of Me

You Are Beautiful


Your Favor Rests Upon Me…

Future-2-If I Could Leave This Place

Your Favor

I finished my record.  I was done.  We headed to Seattle, for our daughter’s wedding.  She married the love of her life.  It was wonderful!

Do I use the word “wonderful” too much?

While there, my wife, who was doing the flowers for the wedding, had to pick up all the flowers, greens, etc. for the wedding.  While checking in to our Air BnB, she thought, “Maybe we can see if we can find some more greens to go with the flowers.”  I didn’t know the green parts weren’t part of the flowers.  Greens and flowers are – not…  the same thing…

Anyway, there were wooded walking paths all around our neighborhood.  So – maybe?

So while putting things away, we could hear a chainsaw, or some sort of gas-powered tool.  We head out on our walk – and along the walk path are greens – CUT DOWN.  EVERYWHERE.  God literally placed all the greens we could need, at our feet!

I mean – ALL OF THEM.  P picked up more than she needed, and left a ton more than that on the trail!  Here is one pic, so you can see what I’m talking about.

And that is just part of what my wife pulled together, from what was left for us.

God is so good…  I don’t typically think of things like this, or get caught up in the fascination of things like this.  But God – just TOOK CARE OF IT for us.  Wow…

Your favor, Lord, rests upon us…

So we’re heading to the store, to pick up flowers.  And we have to potentially cancel the order for greens, because we have enough now.  As we start to feel a little guilty, my wife gets a voicemail – no phone ring, just a voicemail.  It happens, we’ve all had it happen.

“Um – Mrs. Haj-nas-eee-wic – Haj-nas-erts – um, we got your roses, but – so sorry…  We couldn’t get any of the greens.  So sorry….”


God takes care of us.  Lord, your favor rests upon us…

I did not intend to write a song for Stella and Cody.  I mean – I DID.  But when my original idea went somewhere else, I did not consider writing another song.  I thought I was done.  I did not intend to write a worship song – when I couldn’t come up with anything, I thought I was done.

Then this…

I wrote most of it in Seattle, came home and wrote the verses.  I recorded myself plunking piano awkwardly, which fits the song.  This is probably my favorite song.  Because it reminds me of that beautiful day.  Of the way God’s favor was and is on Cody and Stella.  Of how God’s favor is on us…

God is so good….

Your Favor
Though I see through darkened glass
I will trust in You
Though I can’t forget my past
I will dwell on You
It seems the days turn into years
As Years go by as days
And as I rejoice through my tears
I delight in all Your ways

And as I stumble awkwardly
Through life
Toward You…
You give my greatest friend to me…
Someone who mirrors You

Your favor rests upon me…

Song written:  August 9, 14, 2017
Song recorded:  August 14, 2017
Song first released:  August 15, 2017

Your Favor

You can pre-order my new record here!  If you pre-order today, you’ll get EVERY song on it today!  Almost a week before everyone else!  🙂

You Will Find Me…

Future-2-If I Could Leave This Place

With All Your Heart

I wrote this song for a dear friend of mine.  He and I had some pretty in-depth conversations about God, and religion, and the very hard truth of the Gospel that says Jesus is the only way to the Father – the only way to heaven.  And hell…  Nobody wants to accept it, or admit it, but hell (myself included), is a very stark reality…

But in these conversations, I hurt my friend deeply.  I callously called him a sinner.  I didn’t mean to be so callous, or “black and white”.  It just came out…  Because, you know, this is what Jesus says, I don’t “deal with what he deals with”.  Yes, we are all sinners.  But when you call someone a sinner to their face…  When you call their very life, who they are or identify as or with, SIN.  It’s…  There is a better way to engage in the Gospel truth.

I’m not at all suggesting we avoid talking about sin, or hell, or the truth of our brokenness and need for a Savior.  Please, those who are thinking as they read my comment, “You cannot change the truth”, or “Truth doesn’t care about your feelings” -I am not at all suggesting this. I just know that I was a bit clinical and calloused in my heartless, black and white statements.  I just talked about dehumanizing people, to make us feel better about our own decisions, in a previous post.  I did not mean to do this with my dear friend – but I think I did, even if involuntarily…  And for that, I’m truly sorry.  More sorry than I could ever express…

What I’m most sorry for?  What I said to my friend, is not something he’d never heard before.  Not something others haven’t said, or expressed, or suggested, or maybe even acted upon.  I’ve just piled it on…

I’ve often wondered, what is it that puts a wedge between God and man.  Man, of course – I know this.  We sin, and then hide from God.  And then sin more, and hide more.

But what about when a man like me, helps create a bigger divide?  I’m most sorry that I potentially contributed to that division in my friend’s heart.  And my greatest prayer is that he realize the God of the universe loves HIM, deeply.  As he is, NOW.  No matter how the Gospel message – the GOOD NEWS – is delivered to him, I pray he hears and understands that God loves him eternally.

So I wrote this stupid little song for my dear friend.  And there it is.

With All Your Heart
How am I supposed to believe what you say?
When you say I’ve sealed my fate
How am I supposed to know that you love me?
when your people show me hate

You would never ever be able to love me
To love me with all Your heart

Your words, they have been twisted into devils
Too many wolves attending the sheep
I am desperate to hear my Shepard’s call
Cause I feel as though I’ve been misled
Oh, tell me…

Would You ever really be able to love me?
To love me with all Your heart?

You will find Me
When you seek Me

With all your heart…

Song written:  May 16, 18, 19, 2017
Song recorded:  May 19, 20, 2017
Song first released:  May 20, 2017
Songwriters:  Ted Hajnasiewicz, Tony Preston

With All Your Heart

You can pre-order my new record here!


Are You OK With This???

Future-2-If I Could Leave This Place


I wrote this song for those who are most neglected, forgotten about.  The ones we want to dehumanize most.  We like to dehumanize, because it makes it easier to neglect them.  Or ignore them.  Or in this case – kill them…

If babies in the womb are not human – if they are truly globs of goo – then my assertion is completley wrong, there is nothing to be concerned with, right?

But you know you don’t believe that.  You wept when you lost your baby in the womb.  Or you were overjoyed, and excited when you found out you had a child in the womb.  What is different?  Your choice?

A heartbeat in 19 days.  A heart can’t beat, without the brain telling it to?  But I’m not a scientist, I could be wrong.

DNA at conception.  AT CONCEPTION.  So what – so a tomato has DNA.  But a tomato’s DNA doesn’t change into a peaches DNA.  Nor does the baby’s DNA in the womb change at birth, from a glob of goo’s DNA to that of a human being.  It’s human DNA at conception.  This baby in the womb is a human being…

This is a life.  We all know it.  I don’t want to vote my argument.  I don’t want to run around making abortion illegal.  Others are doing that, and good for them.

But I do want to talk about it.  You may hate me for this discussion.  But I’m asking you – would you have the discussion?

And I’m willing to hear you out.  You have a story.  You may have had an abortion, or paid for one.  Tell me your story.  Let’s talk.  Let’s not gloss over it, or make it ok – but at the same time I am not interested in making you a monster.   You’re not.  You’re a victim, my dear friend.  A victim of a society who by now has never know abortion as anything BUT holy and righteous.  Think about that – Roe V Wade was what, 1974?  33 years ago?  And how many years before that was the message argued that abortion is good?  So how can we know different?  NOBODY IS LEFT who knew different.

3000 babies are killed in America, every day.  EVERY.  DAY…

Are you really ok with that?

Please don’t answer here, with your quick knee-jerk response.  Please, please consider this, and answer that for yourself…  And then, if you are willing, come talk to me.  I Would so appreciate it.

I wrote this from the perspective of those who never had a voice.  Who never had a name – at least not to us.  Who were all known by their Creator…

I wonder will she think of me?
Will anyone think of me again?
Will nights be long for anyone?
Will anyone give me a name?

Among the faceless the nameless…
How can I expect you to care?
How can I expect you to love?

Would You give me a name?
Would You see my face?
I am seen…
I am known…

Song written:  May 5, 2017
Song recorded:  May 5, 13, July 19, 2017
Song first released:  May 6, 2017
Note:  this song was originally released as an acoustic single, with all money going to an organization called “Conquerors”.  This organization ministers to those who have had abortions.  You can donate to them directly or find the original single.

Kate Stiglicz – Cello


You can pre-order my new record here!